I Am My Own Autistic Lab Rat Topic = Background And Basics

   I have been diagnosed with Asperger's, Depression and ADD as well as a separate anxiety disorder. I am all but certain I inherited my place on the spectrum from my father. I intern have passed it down to three out of five of my children with one in denial. They are without exception amazing individuals with some aspects that they alone have. 

  The most important thing to know about the "Autism Spectrum" is that there are no safe assumptions. None. You can take a random ten people with a diagnosis of Asperger syndrome and the variety of their issues will be more diverse than aligned.

  Autism was first officially described in the mid 1940s but it wasn't until 1987 when it finally became a beneficial diagnosis. Even then it had a long way to go. I was born in 1963. At that time I was just lazy, disruptive, unruly etc.The most polite description from any teacher ever included "He's so smart, he just won't rise to his potential". Not an uncommon story to this point. 

Throughout  my entire scholastic experience I had one compassionate person who chose to be my advocate. He was an elementary school principal. His name wads Mr. Tibido and he saw something in me that he openly berated some for being blind to. At that time, an official IQ test for an eight year old child was all but unheard of and difficult to get the authorization for. He did not give up until he got his way. My first test was shortly before I turned nine with a result of 161. This was immediately universally rejected. He finally got the second test under the guise of agreeing with the view that it was flawed. The second test was taken at age ten and supervised by four people. And go figure, they were right about it being inaccurate. The registered result of the second test was an IQ of 167.

There were two separate traumatic between age five and thirteen that while not described here they will be at a later date. They are specific to the development of key areas that I can not fully attribute to autism. 

This is the foundation of every personal observation I have or conclusion I have reached to date. To end this part I will outline a few of my personal observations that I intend to flesh out in detail in the future. Remember, these my best descriptions of only my personal experiences regarding Neurodivergence. My intent is to never be perceived as speaking for  percentage of.... Every experience and it's perception of are unique.

1. Most of my emotional reactions of any kind are close to binary. When my empathy is triggered it's intense and extremely focused. and yes, we have empathy.

2. from everything I've learned, in some areas my thought process is so different that I can't describe it in a way most would get anything out of. One aspect I still have no idea of weather or not it's common or rare. Not only often in some way thinking about two or three things at once but I often become aware of the fact that I'm working with two opposing points of view with a clear separation of my observation. I can't find a clearer method of describing that scenario. I assumed everyone thought that way until around age thirty.

3. As I understand it one of the few shared issues centers around the processing of sensory data.. I haven't found enough relevant information to change my assumption that my experience is anomalous. My theory is that as a result of the two events I mentioned that aspect evolved into a distinct advantage. For example, I learn more on a semi couscous level from visual ques, facial ticks, body posture and subtle shifts in movement, types of eye contact to name a few. I have always identified any kind of hostility far in advance of an open indication.

That is more than enough. In fact I apologize if it seems excessive in any way. I'm autistic, it comes with the territory. 

one parting thought... If I am cautious  and in no small way courageous, just minutes from now I will do something that I have been attempting for the better part of two decades without success. I will hit "publish".....

Should you choose to comment remember the expectations that Mr, Rogers had for you and choose to live up them...